Something to Talk About
by Starlite Princess
Summary: Misunderstandings can be fun. Max and Alec have a little problem ...
1. Just One of Those Days

Heya all, I'm taking a _Right Kind of Wrong_ break of sorts and starting another fic.  This writing stuff is downright addictive and, when you've got such willing characters, it's gotta be fun too.  I shall not neglect Right Kind of Wrong as I've suddenly realise I have a lot of time on my hands lately.  It has been a while but I've had constant computer problems and it's taken me forever to get my pc in working condition.  But I'm back and it's all good.

Dedicated to Amy cause she's so gonna get married first and the wonderful people at NWP.  For the love of Alec, I absolutely adore you people!  It really brightens up my day to read the wonderful fics up for grabs (over and over again).  I just can't get enough.

_Summary:          Misunderstandings can be fun.  Max and Alec find that out the interesting way._

Be warned that this is gonna eventually be pure, unadulterated fluff.  Oh, and it's definitely AU and sometimes out of character for … well, everyone.  

_Something to Talk About_

_One of Those Days_

It was one of those days.  The kind that you wake up and, upon realising that the man (who you're sure was created solely to piss you off by his very existence) is studying, with unchecked amusement, your Tweety bird pyjamas, you just know it's gonna be a disaster of epic proportions.  

The last week and a half had been a downright calamity.  She'd traipsed halfway across the country for the most recent Eyes Only mission with nothing but her Ninja and Alec for company.  It had been a long trip – there was only so much Alec Max could stand, and a whole week of non-stop exposure to the man had seriously fried her nerves to the ground.  Everything had gone wrong and, needless to say, they had arrived at their destination just in time to see an ambulance rush off with their contact.  

And, to make matters worse, as soon as they'd returned, Logan had them on another mission – a routine break and enter.  Max was pretty sure she'd had about three hours sleep the entire week.  Meanwhile, last night's B&E stint had gone a little haywire, they hadn't gotten the files they were supposed to and, to top it all off, Alec had nearly managed to decapitate her via an intimate encounter with a low hanging tree branch during their frenzied escape.  

Never again would Max allow him to sit on her baby, much less abuse it, no matter how out of it she was.  After the traumatising events of the last week, she'd gotten home, dressed in the first available sleepwear and promptly fallen into a dreamless slumber – shark DNA could only take one so far before it all became too much.  

"Nice pj's," Alec said.  "Silk?"

"Nah," Max said automatically, for a second not realising exactly what she was talking about.  "Satin."

Once Max finally noted the fact that Alec was unabashedly inspecting every inch of her very stylish nightshirt, she promptly tossed her pillow in his direction.  Her aim was unerringly accurate and, because the hazel eyed blond was too preoccupied with the bright yellow bird plastered across Max's chest, there was a satisfying thump as the pillow bounced off his face.

"Leave now or I will be tempted to kick your ass," Max said calmly, hopping out of bed.  Of course, the day being what it was, she inevitably managed to get her legs tangled in her sheets and fell into an ungraceful lump by the side of her bed.  

Alec couldn't help the laughter that bubbled up.  In less than five minutes he'd managed to acquire enough material with which to tease Max for the next three years.  Life was good.  He peered down at the jumbled mass of bed covers strewn across the floor.  "Having fun down there?" he deadpanned.  

Max just scowled.  "Shut up."

Having had her say, she tried, rather unsuccessfully, to disentangle herself from the sheets but her appendages – not to mention the sheets – refused to cooperate.  By the third attempt Max was convinced that the damn fabric was possessed; Alec was laughing so hard he looked ready to dissolve onto the floor in hysterics.  Finally, he felt it would be in his best interests – Max was looking awfully treacherous – to help her out.  Purely for his own entertainment, he let her attempt another dislodgement from the bedclothes before he held out a hand to help her up.

Max stared at the offered hand as though expecting it to start to life and attack her.  When she was satisfied that Alec's hand would not prove her untimely demise if she accepted his help, she reached up and begrudgingly allowed herself to be pulled up.

Her reflexes being what they were that morning – i.e. cursed and nonexistent – Max naturally lost her balance and fell backward.  In the brief seconds before gravity took over, she had time to decide that, if she were going down, she'd be damn well taking Alec with her.  As she fell back, Max tightened her grip on Alec's hand and grabbed his shirt with her free one.  They both tumbled onto the bed.

"Max, what the –?"  

No one was more surprised than Alec when Max's hand blurred and she scrunched the front of his shirt in her fist.  The surprise only heightened as he suddenly became aware of the fact that his feet were no longer touching the floor.  In fact, he was pretty damn sure the floor couldn't possibly feel this good.  

"I know you want me Max," Alec drawled casually, making absolutely no attempt to move.  "But this is a little forward, don't ya think?"

Max glared at him dangerously.  When she replied, she didn't speak so much as begin swearing, loudly and fluently, mumbling rambled curses at her life, Alec and the powers that be in general.  Alec was somewhat taken aback at her detailed imagery.  He never would have imagined you could do that with a broomstick.

"Boo, are you –" OC stopped dead in the doorway.  Her jaw dropped to the floor and her eyes widened to roughly the size of dinner plates.   She'd heard the rather interesting series of thumps and noises emanating from Max's room and had decided to investigate this unusual occurrence.  She had the distinct notion that Alec had more than likely done something to irk Max … like breathing.  In all honesty, she'd expected to find Max using Alec as a punching bag or something of the like, maybe have the poor guy in a headlock.  

But this, this was unexpected.

"Erm …" for all the attitude and sassiness that OC possessed, a suitable response to this eluded her completely.  All right, so she'd heard the interesting rumours floating around Jam Pony, mostly from Sketchy who constantly blabbered on about a lap-dancing incident.  This he said in Max's absence obviously; had he mentioned it in her presence, he'd be liable for a slap upside the head.  Normal appeared to be too traumatised – and too much in fear of Max's apparent violent impulses – to back Sketchy up.

But OC herself had always believed that, had the rumours been true, Max would have told her something was up.  In fact, when she thought about it, she was suddenly aware that something was up … and it probably had to do with Alec.  OC quickly brushed off the inner ramblings; there had to be a logical explanation as to why the two transgenics were, for lack of a better word, getting cosy on Max's bed.  

"Aiight," OC took quick command of the situation, hands planted firmly on her hips.  Her stern gaze was unwavering as she eyed the rumpled pair in the bed.  "Whatcha doin to my Boo, suga?"  

"Why do you people always assume it's my fault?" Alec asked as he tried to disentangle his person from the combined clutches of Max and the possessed bedding.  

"Cause it usually is," Max commented wryly from her sprawled position.  She shoved against Alec's chest, momentarily choosing to conveniently forget the fact that it was her fault they were currently in this rather interesting predicament.  Alec shifted against her and Max's eyes narrowed to slits.  "If you don't relocate your hand right now, I swear I'm going to make sure you never have children."

"What?  I didn't do it on purpose," Alec said innocently.  He smoothly peeled his hand away from Max and smiled down at her winningly.  

OC bit back a smile.  How his hand had managed to travel to Max's butt was anyone's guess, but she was guessing by the mischievous glint in Alec's hazel eyes that he definitely had no complaints about it.  From the tone of Max's voice as she loudly berated his actions, her apparent anger wasn't wholly accurate either.  For a brief second, OC had to wonder if the rumours had some semblance of truth behind them.

She looked at the bickering pair, who were making no visible attempt at separating anytime soon, and shook her head.  Honestly, it was like living with adolescents with attitudes.  "Children," she clapped her hands.  Two heads whirled around simultaneously to face her.  "While this is fun and all for OC, I must remind you that Normal will can both your scrawny asses if you're late.  And the fact that you've both been absent for the last week will not help any."

Having put in her two cents, she flounced out of the room and back into the kitchen.

"Ah crap," Max yelped, releasing Alec from the headlock.  In turn, Alec let go of the handful of her hair that he'd managed to grab onto in their tussle.  With one final wrench, the frazzled transgenics managed to separate themselves from both each other and the clutches of the crazed bedcovers.

As Alec brushed himself off, he took the opportunity to study Max in her brightly coloured nightshirt.  It definitely wasn't what he'd normally expect Max to wear to bed – he knew she'd been completely wrecked after the events of the previous night … he just hadn't known how much until now.  "Where on earth did you manage to procure a pre pulse pyjamas?"  

Max, who up until that point had forgotten Alec was actually in the room, looked up in confusion.  "What?" It took her a moment to process what Alec was saying; she looked down at the short navy blue nightie.  "Present from OC.  She thought it was cute."

"I don't think 'cute' is quite the word I'd use," Alec smirked, eyeing the large expanse of skin that her apparel didn't quite cover.  He had to admit he'd rarely had the opportunity that afforded him such a view of so much of that golden skin.  

Her only response was to throw another pillow at him.  "You!" she pointed one recently manicured fingernail (OC had felt the sudden urge to beautify Max three nights ago) in the direction of the door.  "Off my planet!"  This time it was a hairbrush that sailed through the air.  Alec laughed and ducked out of the room; the brush crashed with a solid thud against the closed door.  

Max shook her head and dressed quickly.  One of these days, the dratted man was going to get her committed to a nut house.  And, as for this day … well, at this point, Max knew that it would only slide faster downhill.

Which it did beautifully.

When Max and Alec walked into Jam Pony side by side – as far away from each other as was humanly possibly without relocating to another planet – they should have immediately known something was amiss.  Perhaps it was the utter silence that greeted their arrival.  Perhaps it was the blabbered congratulations that Sketchy was proffering on them.

Or maybe, just maybe, it had to do with the hefty blue and white banner strung across the far wall near the lockers, loudly proclaiming 'Congratulations Alec and Max' in large black letters.  They shared a confused look before turning back to the silent crowd that awaited them.  Suddenly, there was a burst of congratulations from the assembled Jam Pony messengers so loud it nearly knocked the startled transgenics to the floor.  

Max was assaulted by numerous hugs from her fellow employees.  A few of the female workers were glaring at Max with undisguised jealousy.  She turned to Alec who was receiving similar treatment, a very confused smile on his handsome face.  "What's going on?" she mouthed; Alec shrugged in response.

A white wrapped package was thrust into her hands and she was engulfed in a Sketchy hug.  When he'd pulled back, she stared at him as though he'd suddenly sprouted a second head.  "Have you been sharing your drugs around?"  Max asked suspiciously.  

Sketchy laughed and threw a friendly arm around Max's shoulder.  Max was too confused to pay much attention to it.  "I can't believe you kept something like this from your best friends.  What I really can't believe is that you told Normal instead of us.  Even OC didn't say a word!"  

OC, who had been behind the two when they'd entered, only shook her head in amused surprise.  "Dun look at me, Boo," she stated empathetically.  "I dun know what these people are trippin on.  OC's just as confused as you are."

Had the whole world gone insane or was it just she?  What the hell was going on here?  

When the incessant hugging had finally ceased, Max turned to an equally dishevelled Alec and held out her hands.  "What's the deal here?"  By now, the assembled messengers had inexplicably started a hearty round of the wedding march. Max's eyes widened in shock as Normal appeared from a side door, wheeling out a silver, white and blue frosted monstrosity that smelled suspiciously of hazelnuts and chocolate.

Alec ran a hand through his hair.  "Uh oh," he said very softly.  No one else heard him, but Max certainly did and she rounded on him almost immediately.

"Uh oh?" she questioned in a deceptively calm voice.  Why hadn't she thought of this earlier?  If something was amiss, then it had to be Alec – there was no other logical explanation for the sudden turn of events.  "Alec, what's going on?  Why is Normal wheeling out a … wedding cake?!"

Alec looked down at her, eyes wide.  "I didn't think he'd take me seriously!"

There was a sudden sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.  You know the kind that tells you that, even though the situation is bad enough, it's still going to get worse.  "What did you do?"

Alec was uncharacteristically silent.

OC burst out into uncontrollable laughter.

Meanwhile, Normal and the cake were halfway across the room.  Max whipped her gaze back to Alec, her eyes flashing dangerously.  Alec held out his hands in a defensive gesture.  "Remember how I was supposed to make the excuses to Normal about our skipping town for a week?"  Max nodded.  Then her eyes widened as a sudden influx of understanding flooded her mind.  "I kinda sorta let Normal believe we were going on a romantic rendezvous … of sorts."

"Kinda sorta?"

"Actually," Alec said hurriedly.  "I kinda get the impression he thinks we eloped."

"What?!"  Max's yell brought the joined attention of everyone crowded into Jam Pony; heads whipped her way.  Her face turned an interesting shade of pink, then red, then purple, then eventually back to pink before settling into it's original tanned state.  OC, having overheard the rather loud conversation, only laughed harder.  

With the most unreadable expression she was capable of, Max turned to the assembled group and smiled sweetly.  "Would you give us a minute?"  Without waiting for a reply of any sort from anyone, Max grabbed Alec's hand and dragged him in through the nearest door, slamming it so hard the wood around the edges splintered.  

"I can explain –" Alec didn't really have a chance to finish.  As soon as the door had shut, Max had rounded on him.  He moved backwards until he was backed up against the wall of the utility closet Max had hauled them into; he didn't really have a choice in the matter as Max was advancing on him very slowly, a fire in her eyes he'd never seen before.  

"Talk.  And fast."

So he did.  "You asked me to make up some story to tell Normal.  I was going to say that a wedding had come up and that we both needed time off.  He let me go cause I'm his 'golden boy' – by the way, let me tell ya, that's a scary thing to be.  Anyway with you he was too scared to say no; something about your violent impulses or something.  When I was leaving he asked who's wedding it was.  I **jokingly** said it was ours –" he held up his hands again in surrender.  "I didn't know he'd jump to conclusions like that.  I didn't even think he'd take it seriously!"

"The facts – although interesting – are irrelevant," Max snapped.  "The question is, what the hell are we gonna do about it?"  

Alec shot her a 'how the hell am I supposed to know' look.  "Look, it's not my fault Normal donated his brain before he was done using it," he said quickly, running a hand through his hair.  "But we have to explain this away somehow."

"What are we supposed to say?"  Max's voice was slowly rising again.  "That we decided to get a divorce two days later?!  That we called it off and spent a week discussing it?  If we come up with a lame brained excuse, even if you are his 'golden boy', he's still gonna kick our butts out of here.  We've had way too much leeway before, he's probably getting sick of it.  For God's sake, this is the second time this month we've disappeared."

"Then what are you suggesting?" Alec asked.  "That we pretend we actually eloped?"

"No," Max said hurriedly.  She bit her lip, mulling it over in her mind.  "Yes … maybe …" she threw up her hands in disgust.  "Oh, I don't know!"

"I have an idea," Alec began.  He was interrupted by a hesitant knock at the door and Normal's voice telling them he didn't have all day and that the celebration was waiting bip bip.  "Give us a minute –" he turned back to Max.  "We keep up the charade for a week or so, then we break it off.  Publicly.  We get separated, then divorced, we keep our jobs and our friends, and all is good in the world."

As unhappy as it made her, Max had to admit that it was a pretty reasonable plan of attack.  Of course, the truth might have been easier to deal with, but she wasn't quite ready to lose her job over an Eyes Only stint.  She opened her eyes, not even having realised she'd closed them in the first place, and was startled to find Alec kneeling in front of her.

"I can't believe I'm gonna say this …" he said, a cheeky grin on his face.  He'd even managed to produce a ring out of nowhere – a silver band that usually encircled his right ring finger.  "Maxie, will you marry me?"

Max couldn't help laughing as he slipped the ring onto her left hand.  "Do I have a choice?" 

"Nope," was the supremely happy reply.

"Figures," Max said, twirling her finger around so it caught the muted sunlight filtering in through the far window.  "All men are idiots, and I had to marry their king."

And this was how Sketchy found them.  He flung open the closet door with a flourish – the crowd had been getting restless and they wanted to see the couple they'd set out to party for – and smiled at the scene within.  For a brief moment, he couldn't help but wonder why it looked like Alec was doing something he'd apparently already done.  It was customary to propose **before** the wedding right?  He shook it off quickly though as Normal joined him by the door.  

OC, who had been cackling hysterically for a good part of the last ten minutes, took one look at the spectacle within the closet; her jaw dropped inelegantly to the floor and her eyebrows were dangerously close to becoming a part of her hairline.  She blinked a couple of times to make sure she wasn't seeing things.  When the picture remained unchanged, she cried out "What the hell!" and cheered along with the rest of them.

At least her Boo was happy …

The amount of noise inside Jam Pony was astronomical, especially since it was the middle of the morning and technically they were all working.  Logan couldn't for the life of him imagine why they were cheering.  In the midst of the cheers he heard the unmistakable melody of the wedding march.

He shrugged it off and stepped through the arched doorway, making as grand an entrance as he deemed possible.  The entrance was unquestionably fabulous – had anyone noticed.  He was surprised to find what appeared to be the entire Jam Pony populace surrounding a small closet opposite Normal's usual domain.  The natural nosy reporter skills that had been so good to him in the past urged him forward to see what had captivated their attention.

There were murmurs of 'how sweet' and 'it's about time' and 'don't they make a cute couple' as he rummaged through the crowd, intent on finding Max, OC or Sketchy.  Hell, with this jam, he'd even be glad to see Alec.  

He finally pushed himself to the front of the crowd.  He spotted OC and hurried over to her side.  "What's going on?" he asked curiously.  OC let out a small 'eep' that sounded like she was choking on a fur ball as soon as she saw him.  Logan couldn't for the life of him figure why she'd had that reaction …

"Hey Logan," Sketchy welcomed him warmly, eyes intent on the scene in the closet.  

The bespectacled man turned at that very moment to survey the sight that had everyone so captivated.  Logan, who had been all set to reply with a hearty 'hello' to Sketchy's greeting, promptly fainted.

TBC (depends on you, I guess)

Whattaya think?  Continue or not … that was fun!  Anyway, haven't forgotten _Right Kind of Wrong. _ Au contraire, I'm in the middle of writing the next chapter – I had a brilliant breakthrough a few days ago and had to rewrite the entire thing – and will probably post before the week is through.  

Read and review if you'd like – or just read and enjoy :)

Starlite Princess 


	2. Moment of Insanity

No, despite my shockingly long absence, I have not fallen down a well and died.  Indeed, I am very much alive – just been suffering simultaneous bouts of writers block, too much NWP browsing, writers block, the most dysfunctional computer on the face of the planet, writers block and plain old 'so much to do, so little time' syndrome.  And did I mention writers block?  Anyway, I'm back and I'm planning on updating a little more often :) 

Big thanks to Baloo for doing such a fabulous Beta job.  Where would I be without you?

_Something to Talk About_ Chapter Two                   Moment of Insanity 

"Why didn't you tell me, man?" Sketchy asked loudly, slapping a friendly hand across Alec's back.  Then, hurt feelings aside, he wiggled his eyebrows and shot a suggestive look in Max's direction.  "How was the honeymoon?"

Alec's eyes brightened, the inherent mischief all but jumping out and stalking down the street.  "You wouldn't believe me if I told you," he said conspiratorially.  Then he whipped his gaze around, catching Max's eyes with what he hoped passed as a tender expression.  From the stifled laughter – and the murderous glint – that suddenly overtook his blushing bride, he was pretty sure of its success and when he turned back to Sketchy, it was with a self-satisfied smirk on his face. 

To be perfectly honest, as far as covert operations went, this one promised to be a little more enjoyable than most.

Max was having a hard time keeping a straight face, what with the constant doting looks Alec was assaulting her with – he was trying his damnedest to make her crack and, if he kept it up, she refused to be held responsible for her actions.  Said actions would probably include beating the man to a bloody pulp, then depositing him in the clutches of Normal (whom she was sure would probably be more than happy to nurse the poor boy back to health). 

The idea showed definite potential.

Pausing in her rather detailed explanation to Original Cindy as to how she'd suddenly become Mrs X5-494, Max shook her head.  "I'm gonna kill him if he doesn't quit the hubby act," she murmured quietly, so as to not draw the unwanted attention of the others.  Normal had gone all out for his golden boy, uncharacteristically giving everyone the morning off to partake in the consumption of coffee and cake. 

How he'd managed to get his hands on quality pre-pulse coffee was a subject Max felt better knowing nothing about.

OC smiled through her coffee.  "Sure ya are, suga." 

In the spare seconds that they'd had while dragging Logan across the room and depositing the unconscious cyber journalist in front of the lockers (Max keeping her distance the entire way), Max had been quickly explaining the situation, in all its absurdness, to Original Cindy. 

Who had, after a brief moment of silence, naturally laughed hysterically at the predicament the two had managed to get themselves into.

"What am I supposed to tell him?" Max asked desperately. 

OC looked thoughtfully at Logan for a moment.  This was indeed a tricky situation.  Grabbing her Boo by the arm, the dark skinned girl dragged Max off to a discreet distance. 

"Suga, OC can't tell you what to do.  The most I can do is let ya know what I think – and I think it's up to you and hot boy over there," she pointed to where Alec was now being continually congratulated by Normal.  "Maybe it would be better for your boy to think that you're married, at least for a while.  He already thinks you and Alec been makin it anyway; this is just the next logical step," she paused for a moment, a confused look swimming across her face.  "Well, maybe not exactly logical …"

"OC has a point," Alec's opinion, as usual, was highly unwelcome, especially if he was even remotely on target.  He came up beside Max and in keeping with the charade, slipped a hesitant arm around her waist, pulling her against his side.  "If he knows the real deal, he might not wanna go along with it."

"Shut up," Max said, although rather absently.  They both had a point – particularly since it was, effectively, the same one. 

Besides, with Alec at her side, both literally and figuratively, she might be able to give Logan the idea that she really wasn't available.  After all, the man was a sucker for a wedding ring.  Wouldn't dream of hitting on a married woman, would he?

Speaking of married women … Max looked down at the silver band around her ring finger, unconsciously resting her hand over Alec's where it encircled her waist. 

She looked with pleading eyes at OC whose gaze remained unwavering – and damn right neutral. 

"Fine," Max acquiesced after endless deliberation.  "We tell him it's the real deal."

"Right," OC agreed pleasantly. 

By now their little group had travelled all the way to Normal's front counter; OC deposited her coffee mug atop the cluttered desktop and eyed the transgenics up and down.  "My two best transgenic buds are now married.  Now one question remains to be answered – how did this happen?"

"I have been asking myself that very question," Max muttered.

"Not helping, honey," Alec chastised in a sugary sweet voice.  He arched his head back as Max raised her fist in silent warning. 

OC shot the duelling transgenics a quizzical look.  "Since you're officially hitched, so to speak, I think you should consider not trying to kill each other on a regular basis.  At least not for a while for the sake of appearances.  The homicidal stage of the relationship just don't happen til you're married for at least two weeks."

"Oh, I dunno," Max said dangerously.  "I'm in the mood to become a widow."

Alec suddenly smiled his quirky smile and tightened one arm around Max, slipping a single finger under her chin and tilting her face up to his.  His eyes bored into hers.  "Aw c'mon Maxie," he said softly, drawing her even closer.  "You know you don't mean that."

Max meanwhile felt her insides turning into a gooey pile of mush.  She found herself returning his intense gaze, for a moment forgetting they'd been arguing, let alone having any sort of a conversation at all.  Her gaze flickered for the briefest second, landing on a speechless Original Cindy before spotting the approaching Normal.  Seeing the reason for Alec's sudden assault, she brought her face back up to his.

Rising up on her tiptoes, Max moved so her mouth was right at Alec's ear.

"Sure I do," she whispered dangerously before snaking one arm around his neck.

Since her tumble into the wonderful world of transgenics, Original Cindy had seen some pretty unusual things and she'd dealt with them accordingly. 

This newest development however, was more than she could even begin to understand, let alone explain.  And, upon seeing that Logan was now very much awake and staring at the unsuspecting cosy couple, she realised that there'd be an awful lot to explain.

Happily, it wouldn't fall to her.

It had taken Logan a while to finally realise the irrevocable fact that he wasn't in his apartment.  No, instead he found himself sprawled upon one of the very uncomfortable benches at Jam Pony.  It took him another long while to finally remember why he was here – to make Max change her mind about the state of things between them.

He looked up, running a hand through his short brown hair.

Then it hit him like the proverbial ton of bricks.

Judging from the looks of things, she wouldn't be changing her mind anytime soon.

From his vantage point at the back of Jam Pony he could see the entire room.  Most were huddled in groups chatting and munching on cake and sipping from steaming mugs of coffee.  A good many of the girls were glaring in the general direction of Normal's desk.  He soon saw the reason behind their glaring and promptly decided to join in.

At first he had entertained the possibility that Max and Alec were undertaking some bizarre plot to make everyone think they were married.  Then he'd skimmed across his other, less likely, options: crazy transgenics with unusual mind bending abilities, sudden insanity in the X series upon hitting a certain age, a baby on the way – immaculate conception, of course – and lastly, drugs … lots and lots of drugs. 

All possible alternate explanations had then effectively committed suicide and thrown themselves out the window.

Even as he struggled through the seemingly null and void alternate possibilities, he pulled his glasses off, cleaned the lenses to within an inch of their life, replaced the glasses and blinked a couple of times to make sure he wasn't seeing things.  But no matter what he did, he still came face to face with the same scene.

Alec, one arm wrapped around Max's waist, looking down at her like he was seconds away from kissing her, Max seemingly not complaining one little bit.  He could see her slim fingers playing with the hair at the back of his neck, skimming lightly over the barcode hidden beneath the collar of his jacket.   It was then that he saw red – and realised he was now face to face with Sketchy's rather loud shirt.  He looked up.

"Yo man, you don't look so good," Sketch commented briefly before wandering away again.

He didn't feel so good either.

Original Cindy never thought she'd see the day when Max and Alec were so wrapped up in each other that they'd miss the arrival of half the messenger service at their side, most of whom were by now basically treading on their transgenic toes.  Of course, the employees weren't really paying attention to the happy couple.  They were too busy refilling on coffee and getting second helpings of cake.

She could now officially say she'd seen it all.

"Max."

So caught up in her musings was Original Cindy that she jumped about three feet off the ground in surprise.  A quick glance at Alec and Max told her that they were otherwise preoccupied.  From what she could tell, they were trying to stare each other down – either that or they were two seconds away from a steamy make out session.  As it was, she sincerely hoped it was the former as she was already shocked beyond belief and did not need anything that would give her a heart attack.

"Logan honey," OC said perkily.  "I really think we should leave the newlyweds to themselves for a while."

After a brief glance – technically a glare really – at the aforementioned couple, Logan looked about ready to throw up the dismal remains of his undoubtedly sickeningly nutritious breakfast.  Even as he glared, their faces moved closer together until they were just inches away from each other.  At this, his face paled then went on to turn an interesting shade of mauve.

Ignoring OC, he pushed her tentative arm aside and regarded the entranced couple seriously, clearing his throat to get their attention.  When that failed to catch anything but flies, he decided on a less subtle approach and slapped his hand on the counter.

Alec and Max pulled away from each other rather abruptly at the loud noise.

It took Max a moment to realise exactly what was going on.  When she noted the bespectacled man glaring daggers at her supposed spouse while simultaneously shooting herself undisguised looks of longing and confusion, she snapped back to reality within seconds.  She found it somehow amazing that she'd managed to get so lost in Alec's eyes … oh, those eyes …

Realising that she was quickly stepping right back to square one, Max stole a glance at Alec who, despite having pulled away when they'd heard the bang, still held her in his embrace.  She felt the gentle pressure of Alec's hands as they unconsciously moved across the small of her back.  Studiously ignoring the shivers that raced up and down her spine at the soft touch, she turned her attention back to Logan. 

"Max," Logan repeated softly.  "We need to talk."

_Oh, this is going to be fun_.

Looking somewhat like the proverbial deer caught in the headlights, Max turned to Alec and shot him a pleading look.  Deciding to explain the bizarre situation to Logan was one thing – doing the aforementioned explaining was an entirely different situation.

Logan blinked at her silence, his eyes owlishly large behind his glasses.  He cleared his throat, apparently deciding that he should be the one to kick start the somewhat stilted conversation.  "I suppose congratulations are in order."

Max just looked like she was choking on a fur ball.  The poor girl was so tense that rigor mortis was only moments away from setting in.  She felt Alec's arm tighten around her waist and looked up at him automatically, searching for the right words to explain their predicament.  Finally reclaiming her voice, she turned back to Logan.

"We were going to tell you," she said slowly, while hurriedly searching for an explanation.  "But then everything happened so fast and we couldn't – it was a last minute thing and …" she broke off, glancing briefly at Original Cindy before continuing, "Even OC didn't know about it til this morning."

Original Cindy nodded her agreement before saying something about her cousin Ralph coming in for an unexpected visit.  Both Alec and Max took a moment to stare at her incredulously before turning back to the task at hand.  Logan seemed a little too preoccupied to really notice much of anything and didn't give OC or any of her unusually named relations a second thought.

"She was as surprised as anyone else," Max finished lamely.

There, that wasn't so bad, her mind supplied a little too enthusiastically.  She caught the glimmer of disbelief in his eyes and her heart leapt into her throat.  Now, if you could only get him to believe you …

"We wanted to surprise everyone with the news," Alec explained hastily. 

"Well, it worked," Logan commented ironically.  "I'm certainly surprised."

An uncomfortable descended over their little pocket of the world.  Max was fairly certain that she could hear crickets chirping.

In Jamaica.

The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife and make sandwiches. 

Luckily for all, Normal chose that precise moment to whip around Jam Pony, snatching plastic plates and Styrofoam cups from idle hands, muttering insanely about packages needing to be delivered.  He bip bip bipped his way across the room, vociferously demanding that they vacate the area near the counter as soon as was humanly possible.

Apparently the celebrations were over.

Thrusting a bunch of packages in the general direction of Alec and Max, Normal gesticulated wildly and hitched a thumb toward the door.  "Those packages aren't going to grow legs and deliver themselves," he said loudly.  "Honeymoon's over, people.  Bip bip bip."

Max had never been so glad to be ushered out of Jam Pony.

"We'll talk later," she promised Logan, moving quickly to follow Alec up the ramp. 

She stopped abruptly as Logan stepped in front of her, effectively blocking her escape.  His blue eyes bored into hers, glimmering intensely.  "You don't have to stay with him," he told her quietly.  "You can still get out of whatever arrangement you two have.  It's not too late."

Eyebrows raised, Max stepped back tersely.  "We've already discussed this," she told him heatedly, looking pointedly over his shoulder to where Alec was standing and watching with an observant eye.  "I'll talk to you later."

Something in her face must have given her away because seconds later, Alec had returned, slipping his arms around her waist and pulling her up against him.  He nuzzled her neck tenderly.  "C'mon baby," he murmured, loud enough for Logan to hear.  "The sooner we deliver, the sooner we'll be free to … do other things."

She had to admit the man had excellent timing.

Despite herself, Max flushed at his suggestive tone, ducking her head to hide the laugh that threatened to bubble out.  She repressed a shudder as he planted a hot kiss on the side of her neck, butterflies suddenly doing a wild tango in her stomach.  Taking control of the situation, she leaned back against Alec's chest and looked up at Logan, who was regarding them silently, fists clenched.

"I have to go," Max's tone was vaguely apologetic as she grabbed Alec's hand and all but dragged him back in the direction he'd come from moments before.  "See you later."

Alec smiled widely as he was pulled up the ramp, Normal's incessant bips following him.  "Bye Logan!"

Once outside, Max leaned against the wall, resting her chin against her chest.  She was emotionally as well as physically exhausted.  On top of everything else that was going on, she didn't need another complication.  As far as she could figure, this spontaneous pretend marriage was quite possibly the one thing in her life that made the most sense. 

And that, in itself, she had to admit was very strange.

"That was fun," Alec said cheerily, hopping onto his bike in one smooth movement.  "Can't wait to see what happens tomorrow."

Max's head snapped up and her eyes widened.  She'd just realised something – actually she'd just realised quite a few somethings that did nothing to dispel her downward spiralling mood.  "Do you realise how complicated this is going to get?"

It took Alec a moment to realise what 'this' was.  "What do you mean by that?"

"This," she said, gesturing at their surrounding environs.  "This whole marriage thing is just gonna turn into one big complication."  At his blank look, she explained, voice steadily rising as she really got into her stride. 

"Marriage implies a few things – living together, spending time together, knowing stuff about each other, not dating other people, and a whole lot of other stuff that I can't remember!  We have to move in together, live in the same place.  I mean we can't even be in the same hemisphere without rehashing the Pulse.  You don't even have a house and I share with OC.  What's more, we have to spend recreational time together – at Crash even, and work.  And I don't even know your last name!"

Taking a moment to dubiously regard the crazy transgenic, Alec arched an eyebrow, wondering if Max had finally gone off the deep end.  With her hectic and relatively stressful lifestyle, he supposed it was just a matter of time – how inconvenient was her timing, though?

"Max," he said coolly, cutting through her continued ramblings.  He plonked his hands on her shoulders, one finger slipping under her chin, forcing her to look up at him.  "Relax."

Max halted her moderately involved soliloquy, jolting back to earth at his unruffled tone.  She looked up at him, blinking with wide eyes. 

"I am perfectly relaxed," she told him calmly, running a hand through her dark hair nonchalantly. 

"Uh huh," Alec retorted dubiously.  "Sure you are."

"I'm just a little stressed is all."

"Stressed is not the word," Alec reassured her.  "Insane is probably closer."

"Shut up."

He ignored her.  "As far as all that stuff you just spouted off, don't worry about it.  We're Manticore, we know how to get ourselves out of sticky situations – "

"Which you got us into in the first place," Max reminded him.

"Yes Max, this is all my fault … Lets move on." he continued without difficulty.  "Anyway, as I was saying, you don't have to worry about that stuff.  The heat should be off me now so we can move into my apartment – that's not a problem.  As for the fighting stuff, I dare you to show me a married couple that does not have the occasional spat.  And we spend time together anyway, married or not."

Alec took a breath and looked down at Max expectantly.  "Have I covered everything?"

Max looked up at him silently and shook her head.  "Last name."

Rolling his eyes, Alec smiled bemusedly.  "McDowell."

"Max McDowell?" Max cried incredulously, her hands flying to cover her mouth.  "Do you mind if I keep my own last name cause I really don't think that works."

"You can keep your own last name if you like," Alec said in a long-suffering tone.  "Now, we can –"

He broke off suddenly, a flash of movement at the door flitting across the corner of his eye.  From his position in front of Max, he had a good view of anyone entering or exiting, and this was no exception.  He recognised the black slacks and caught the familiar sound, a faint mechanical whirr.

Ah crap, he thought.  They were having this rather loud conversation right outside Jam Pony – probably not the best place to be discussing things like this considering the circumstances.  And especially since the so-called ex-boyfriend was in the vicinity. 

Logan still hadn't noticed them since they were somewhat slightly hidden by a nearby pillar of bricks, but he would definitely pass them on his way out. 

It really wouldn't do to have him find them in the middle of this discussion. 

Being the stunning advocate of quick thinking that he was, Alec did the first thing that came to mind regardless of how suicidal it might seem later.  He honestly had no idea what he'd been thinking when he trapped Max between himself and the wall, hands pressed flat against the hard brick surface.  It certainly didn't seem like a move that had a high life expectancy for one, especially with Max in the wildly fluctuating mood she was in.

However, Max, still in distress over the surname dilemma, didn't notice a thing.

That is, she noticed nothing until she felt his lips at her ear, then she jolted out of her stupor long enough to bring her hands up to push against his chest.  Her mouth formed a startled 'oh' of surprise.

_What the hell is he playing at? _

"Go with it, Max," he murmured in warning, his lips moving against her ear. 

Max started slightly at the soft words and light contact.  She didn't move as he dragged his lips across her cheek before brushing his nose slowly back and forth against hers.  His gaze flicked toward the door; she followed his subtle hint, eyes widening in realisation. 

Then the world slowly dissipated when he lowered his lips to her neck, pressing tiny kisses along the slender column of her throat.  His arms dropped down, gripping at her waist as he lavished her neck with hot kisses.  Her skin was warm beneath his mouth, her pulse fluttered beneath his touch.

Almost unconsciously, Max slid her hands up his arms and wound her fingers through the soft strands of his hair.  "Alec…" she moaned, pushing herself closer into his embrace.

At her soft whisper, Alec forgot why he was doing this.  All thoughts of subterfuge and pretend marriages disappeared as he closed his mouth over hers.  When he felt the moist softness of her lips against his a shiver raced down his back as his hands drifted to places he'd always longed to touch but hadn't realised until that very moment; one hand resting at her hip, the other moving to entangle in the strands of her hair. 

Max was lost in a whirlwind of desire, lost in the gentle pressure of his lips against hers.  She didn't even notice that, at some point, she'd started kissing him back.  Her fingers skimmed the smooth planes of his face, drawing him closer even as she responded to his tender ministrations.

Every nerve ending sang, every sense she possessed heightened considerably.  She was aware of the sunlight, it's warmth on her skin, the brilliant blue of the sky behind her closed eyelids, the feel of his heated skin beneath her fingertips, his fingers moving with surprising gentleness through her hair … she was in heaven and had no intention of leaving any time soon.

Luckily, Alec had the same idea.

When Logan finally did make his way by that particular expanse of wall, he nearly toppled at the sight.  It was one thing being told that your ex-girlfriend had run off on one of _your _missions to marry her X5 counterpart … it was quite another to see them making out against a wall, completely oblivious to the outside world. 

In the most interesting of coincidences, Original Cindy and Sketchy happened upon Logan as his jaw slammed against the floor.  They took a gander at what had caused such an unusual reaction and promptly followed his example.

Sketchy grinned widely.

"It's nice to see them getting along so well, isn't it?"

NEXT CHAPTER COMING SOON

tell me what you think ...


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